Life....

Goes on....
Nothing much to report...got the all clear on my eye....all the precancerous cells have been taken out and I just need to have regular mole checkups to make sure there is nothing iffy about any of them...oh joys!!!
My husband is a pain in the arse (as usual) we have a weird relationship..some days I see us as that little old couple on the beach hand in hand celebrating our 5oth anniversary other days I think of jail sentences because I feel like throttling him. Is that typical?? I guess so, after nearly 20years of marriage it's only normal I suppose ( I hope :) )
My kids....well they're kids....a 16 year old that thinks she's older some days and acts like a 5 year old others, a 14 year old who wishes her older sister didn't treat her the way she does, a 12year old who really hates being the only boy in the family and an 8 year old who...well she's still sweet but boy can she whine.....
I love them all the pieces but can't help wondering what it would be like to be single and fancy free every now and then.....but been there done that and would I really at my age want that? I think it might be a very lonely existence....

Eye problems

Not terribly thrilled at the moment....had to have a cyst removed from my eye which appears to have pre-cancerous cells in it....getting more removed tomorrow and hopefully that will be the end of it....feel sick to the stomach though because I should have had it removed ages ago but didn't. What was I thinking? It didn't hurt, it didn't impair my vision or annoy me it was just there but had got bigger and everybody was noticing it....so what if I hadn't of had it removed, what if there is more there....I guess I will find out in due course and handle it...somehow

Life-

is pretty ordinary I guess.
Apart from the fact that one of my closest friends has ended her marriage after 22 years. They were babies when they got married (only 19 she was) and had a long time together but like every marriage they got into a rut that they couldn't get out of.
Know the feeling. It'll be 20 for me this year and some days it's great, other days well....on those days I really envy her, because I don't know how I'll survive it....guess a lot of people feel that way but they don't all have the courage to end it.
But then again it's not that bad either we just mosy along....and for the moment it is right but who knows in the future

Back to blogging

I've been away too long....and I think I need to be back to vent things now and then....like when you're having a problem with husband and kids, or upset about something you see or hear and nobody else seems to care enough to argue with you about it or hell because you want to celebrate some milestone in your life....well it starts again here and hopefully I'll have something interesting to say

So much for being in a better frame of mind

That lasted about a day....and then I sunk into that depression again....think it's on the up and hoping that I can make some changes in my life and get back to my old self.....we'll see if blogging helps!!!

Feeling positive

Like this change in my mood...a long time coming I guess but hopefully it's a step in the right direction and everything will improve as my mood does

Loser?? No more!!!!

Was feeling down about myself, about everything, all I wanted to do was lay on the couch, sleep, eat, watch TV, read and do nothing else. Put up a great pretense when everyone was home, but the seven hours during the day when I was alone that is what I was doing....and even then with no major enjoyment of what I was doing!!!
Depression? Maybe bordering on it, I didn't spend all day crying although some days I probably could have but I've snapped out of it....or at least I hope I have and I feel like I am ready to get on with life and find my way to making things better...to make me feel good about myself and what I am doing with my life and where I am going!!!!
Today is the first day of the rest and best of my life!!!!